At some point in life, we begin to face expectations. These expectations can come from anywhere and from anyone — whether they are self-imposed or come from parents, friends, or family. Some of these expectations become goals — goals that we set our minds on achieving, and failure to do so can mean the difference between depression and success. This is why it is important to think carefully about which expectations meet your standards for becoming a goal. Yet, your standards for a goal should be based on what is plausible, not just on desire.

What, then, would one define as a plausible goal? Plausibility is circumstantial and, in some cases, based on the individual.

Sometimes, it may not be circumstantial; it might stem from your individual capabilities — and in that case, it’s really important to assess yourself well. Many people, including me, sometimes fail at this. They either have high self-efficacy (see themselves as more capable than they are) or the opposite. It is important that when setting goals based on your capabilities, you do not consider what others think of you, but rather what you have accomplished in the past. Your past successes are usually a telltale sign of what you are capable of achieving. But sometimes, you just haven’t encountered such a goal before — what do you do? Well, life is all about trial and error. If the intentions behind your goal are something anyone could support, then there’s nothing wrong with trying and failing. Because through failure, you will discover your capabilities.

Sometimes, a goal is just not achievable no matter how hard you try. Sometimes, there is simply no way forward. When this happens, I say persevere. Only after persevering and still being hindered should you consider setting your goal aside. Emphasis on aside, not away. At a later point, you may have overcome the obstacles or been presented with a new opportunity to achieve your goal — then you can get back on track.

I will say, though, that as someone who has goals, you should avoid being a hindrance to other people’s goals. If someone can only achieve a goal through your help, then offer it to the best of your ability. Through this, you may discover hidden strengths you never knew you had.